I like to meet a lot of new people and interact with them randomly for various reasons. It could be for work, an acquaintance, a random stranger, someone from the gym or someone I find cute to talk to.
A not so disappointing personality and some charming looks have ensured that I don’t mess up my first interactions. Oftentimes, it has turned out to be good.
These people will eventually become friends or at least the ones I stay in touch with occasionally. But regardless of what they become to me, all of these people have jumped into conclusions. Mostly wrong. 90% it has been wrong. The 10% is also wrong but on a lighter note.
Misconception #1
“Tharun, you come from a business family”
Yes, true, in a city like Coimbatore, almost all of our parents run a business. It could be small or at an enterprise level. But you will never know. Coimbatore is that kind of city. Mostly entrepreneurial. Almost everyone is self-employed. Only the scale at which they operate differs.
That too, my father runs a pump manufacturing company. The same reason Coimbatore is famous for: Pumps and Motors. A core manufacturing city that specializes in manufacturing pumps and motors, which significantly contributes to the GDP and has created a hell a lot of wealth for many families. This is the common narrative among the public. Yes that is also true. Not denying the facts.
So whenever someone asks “What does your Father do?” and I say “He runs a small scale pump manufacturing unit.” They jump into a conclusion that we also belong to this group.
But every too good to be true story has another dark side. Pumps and Motors industry not only created wealth, it has also equally destroyed wealth. Reason: High leverage. The truth is my father operated in an industry that had tremendous upside potential of creating wealth. But unfortunately we also fell into the trap of high leverage. For 30 years our standard of living never changed except for a significant wealth erosion.
So, yes, I come from a business family but not the level of business that you think. We operate at a small capacity that does <₹1Cr per year and is not profitable. But grateful enough for being in this ecosystem, I had a lot of exposure to entrepreneurial spirit from a very young age. I met a lot of immensely successful people who created wealth from nothing and also innovated to stay float.
Misconception #2
“Tharun your parents are rich and you come from a family of means.”
This is the most hilarious thing of all. I’ll tell you why. But before that, I don’t even know why people jump into this weird conclusion. I’d be happy if they had assumed that I was poor. Because I don’t even wear any branded clothes, I don’t own anything expensive. I don’t show off on social media. I have no possessions which equates to being rich. For example, a flagship mobile phone or a laptop. I don’t wear or own any costly accessories too. I’m not fair either (India is a country where people equate being fair to being rich). I’m dusky. I own one flip flop and one pair of shoes that I wear everywhere. For a party and also for the same. Same pair, no changes.
But one thing I do is present myself as decently good. I groom myself to look better. Fortunately, without much effort I can look good and feel confident. I don’t use any cosmetics, I use one perfume that is also not an original product.
I communicate well, have a lot of gestures and try to own any conversation with me. I maintain solid eye contact and can jump on to any conversation that I know of and contribute to it.
Among all this, I don’t know where Being Rich comes from?
The funnier thing is assuming my parents are rich. The jokes are on you. Their ownership is less than half of what I own individually. They are always in a pathetic look only. My mother has never worn a gold ornament apart from her marriage gold chain. My father, even worse, you should see his slipper that he wears to his office and the bag that he carries.
So every time people assume this and end up being disappointed for their bad assumption, and I ask “What did you see in me to assume I was rich?“
All of them had one common answer, “Tharun, you look and act rich”
Guys, that is me trying to hide my insecurities and trying to be confident. I have a lot of self respect and an aesthetic body, but that should mislead you to assume that I’m rich. So to anyone who thinks this next time, a humble request. Please don’t. I don’t want to be assumed of anything.
Misconception #3
“Tharun you only hangout in HiFi cafes and eat in hygenic places.”
Another half truth. I got to cafes that don’t mean I only go there. I like variety. Variety is the spice of life. I like to experiment a lot with life. So I can eat anywhere, sleep anywhere and live anywhere. No boundaries or not so picky about it.
My friends and I mostly eat in road side shops (we have minimised now due to our health consciousness) but otherwise we don’t hesitate to try out anything. I have tried the least expensive dinner shop and the most expensive dinner place in Coimbatore. I love both. I’m not taking sides here.
You invite me tomorrow for anything and I’ll be down. You can take me to places where there are no seats even with only plates and that is where I’ll enjoy the food.
Misconception #4
“Tharun you belong to this [Name] Caste”
One thing I totally hate is caste. The concept is one, but also the outcomes of having caste differentiation. Some idiots still think they are superior and treat everyone else inferior.
I have never asked for anyone’s caste. I believe it is a basic human decency to not ask anyone. At least that is how my parents raised me.
But you know we live in Coimbatore, a city known for its affinity towards asking caste to everyone.
In my life with my known memory, a few people (all are idiots for doing this) have openly asked about my caste. “Tharun, are you [Caste Name]?” All of them assumed that I belonged to that one particular caste. All of them. No changes. Because they all belonged to that particular group. So they assumed that I’m also part of them.
But they will never know, you will never know if I belong to that particular caste or what is even my caste. My friends know because we are all friends from school, and school was the first place to facilitate the caste discussions. If not for school, that will also be erased from memories.
The caste they have assigned me to is a famous, dominant (by population) group in the Kongu belt. These idiots think they are the only people in this region and everyone else who exists doesn’t belong here.
Out of Curiosity, I asked them what made them jump into this conclusion. They all said “Tharun, the way you speak, the way you act, respecting others and your manners.”
FACEPALM.
That should not be associated with any caste. All that is proper Coimbatore behaviour. I spent 25 years in this city, so obviously I’m going to take up the slang of the city from the people I meet. Instead of explaining all this to them, I politely refuse their claims and leave their thoughts hanging.
This caste problem is another big problem here to an extent that a few girls that I was talking to in the 2nd interaction with me asked this stupid question. They all come from a family of means and also studied in the poshest schools and went to one of the best colleges in the city. You cannot do anything. It was infused at birth. You just have to live with it.
End Note
I think that’s it for now. Every other misconception mostly overlaps around these 4 things. Next time, if someone falsely assumes I’m going to send them this blog and force them to read it and then come talk to me.
Or the easier thing to do is just smile and let them assume whatever nonsense they do. At this point I don’t even care.