Wake up early, go to the temple, and offer all prayers to a specific god on each day. Set up the home’s Pooja room spending 30 minutes every single day. Have a temple schedule to follow religiously. Have not missed going to Sabarimala for 5 years straight.
Yes, the above-mentioned person is no one but me. I used to be this person. I had an unbreakable faith in God, until my 10th std. After that something change. Right from my 10th std summer holidays I stopped worshipping god. For many reasons. Even today I’m not able to point fingers at just one specific reason.
I don’t know. Maybe I lost faith in the concept of God back then. Along with the faith, I also lost the fear I had of God. But that didn’t take me to the wrong route. I was morally correct. At that age, that is how we act right? Eccentric to some extent.
But today when I look back, my concept of God has totally changed. I’ve gone from believing strongly in God to losing faith in God, criticising the existence of God, questioning what is God, Challenging God, Who/What is God, searching for God and now trying to find the definition of God.
In the last 3-4 years I can vividly remember every single detail. I’ve been put through some tough times and also equally happy times. I have been challenged to even live by the things that happened around me. I have suffered due to various reasons. Be it work, family, relationships, friends, career and fitness.
But not once, I have gone to plead to God. There was some kind of irrational self-belief that I could handle and endure whatever happened to me. Every single time, the situation has only gotten worse. But nothing pushed me over to go to God for help. I have either relied mostly on me or on my close ones.
According to me, everyone is God. You are God. I’m god. All of us are. My problem is that there has been more evil and cruelty committed in the name of God than in the non-existence of it. God should be either white or black, definitely not both. Or can we think like this?
There are good things, there are bad things and then there is God. I only think of it this way. You could tell me that life will challenge you someday to realize the existence of God or that I’m too naive or trying to be a show-off by intellectually defying the existence of God. My honest answer should be please prove me wrong. Put me to the test so that I can finally say God is real and God helped me. Not my definition of God, your definition.
If you show me a black stone or a decorated paper and say that is God. I’m surely going to deny it. If that is your definition of God, I’m not here to comment. Then who is God or what is God. God is something that makes to have a belief so big that you feel you are delusional. God instils discipline, God instils fear. The fear of not committing wrong. The discipline of sticking to our Goals.
People around me ask if you don’t believe in God then who do you fear. Without fear, you will be limitless and are bound to commit mistakes outside your morals too. Who said I don’t have fear. I do have. I do have discipline. I’m bound by Karma. Simple whatever I’m doing today will come back 100x to me in the future. Be it good or bad. It surely does come back. I’m my reflection of my future. If I commit a mistake (intentionally or not), I’m going to pay 100x price in the future, in the same way (intentionally or not). Or if I do a good deed without expecting anything in return, I might get back it 100x. I don’t know the timelines. But surely Karma is acting upon.
I’ve experienced Instant Karma or my 5-6 year deeds are paying back to me now. So there are good things in life, there are bad things in life and then there is also God. Who disguises to be good but is a possible reason for a lot of misconduct.
Create your definition of God. Search for it. Don’t follow what others say. Find your own cult.
God is here, God is there. There is always a much superior power than humans in this world which is definitely not God. But it governs us. It gives us Freedom. The universe is watching. None of us can’t escape. In an unfair world, Karma takes care of everything.
Hey Tharun,
I could relate to your journey because I’ve been on a similar path. I used to go to Sabarimala (10 times, to be exact) and follow rituals religiously, but my perspective changed when I found the truth in Christ.
I always wondered why we were on this earth, seemingly for nothing. I considered we are a dust of dust in this universe.
In May 2023, while on a solo trip to the Isha Yoga Centre, something unexpected happened. I felt a strong urge to stop at Bethesda Prayer Centre nearby, even though I hadn’t planned it. For the first time, I knelt and prayed to God, asking for guidance in life. That moment marked the beginning of my journey with Christ.
Since then, my life has changed in ways I can’t fully explain. I’ve experienced God’s presence, found peace, and understood the deeper purpose He has for me. I now see struggles differently, not as random hardships but as part of His greater plan to shape and grow me.
You asked about why we face struggles and where God is in those moments. I’ve come to learn that God allows challenges to draw us closer to Him, to teach us to rely on His strength rather than our own. His plans are always for our good, even if we don’t understand them immediately.
He even struggled, lived in poverty, and was crucified for our sins. God is perfect in all ways. His ways are not like ours, and His thoughts are far greater than ours.
Do some research on your own, pray, and you will know the truth. You might discover, as I did, a God who loves you deeply and has a unique purpose for your life.
Praying for you to find the answers you’re searching for!